One of THOSE days

*CAUTION: Profanity used at will in this post and I can’t be bothered to spell/grammar check either.

Oh God, this day is a doozy. I’m saying “is” because it’s only 3:49 pm and there’s still plenty of time for it to get worse.

Today started off as most do. Up at 5:45 am to the sounds of Keenan burbling away in his crib. The only difference here is that I took the wood frames out from under my side of the futon yesterday and as a result I had the most amazing frickin’ sleep since Keenan was born. So I had some cobwebs in the brain and was a little slow to get to the boy so he got a bit whingey. No biggie, nothing I haven’t dealt with before. Breastfed Keenan, changed his bum, got him dressed for the day and turned him loose on his toys in the living room. Got coffee going and breakfast on the go. Then, hmmmm wonder if Sean needs a shower today? Better check. Opened door to bedroom, let Keenan loose on his dad. “Do you need to shower today Sean?” I shower every second day on opposing days to Keenan’s bath day. Don’t know why, it just worked out that way. Sean showers whenever but if we have to shower on the same morning then we need to step things up a notch, well no actually then he needs to get his ass out of bed earlier so we can both shower before he leaves for work. Sean gets out of bed, has a shower, I’m in the kitchen continuing to get breakfast ready while Keenan is biting me, pulling on my pants, pulling things off shelves, holding the fridge door closed when I need it open and then holding it open when I need it closed. You know, typical baby getting into everything kind of scenario. So I’m trying to juggle all this stuff and Sean walks by and says “ok, what’s the funniest line from last night?” I have no idea Sean. I don’t store that kind of info well anymore. What was the funniest line from the Soprano’s (or was it CSI)? That’s when the badness started. “You need to try to remember that kind of stuff or you’re just perpetuating the problem”. Right, I’m gonna have a shower. Which I did. I get out to a very quiet apartment. Sean fed Keenan who fell asleep in his high chair before finishing his breakfast and is now fast asleep in his crib 20 minutes before we have to leave to take Sean to work. Sean and I talk about the spat and how I spend the better part of my day trying to remember things I’ve forgotten and how that comment made me feel. Part of the problem is that Sean had an office party last night and I had Keenan by myself all day. It’s totally fine if he’s in a genki mood but if he’s not which was the case it turns into an exhausting endeavor. So, I was feeling like yesterday was just bleeding into today with any break and it was making me a little crazy. Anyways, we patch things up and then wake up the boy and get Sean out the door.

Keenan whinges all the way to Sean’s office and all the way home. It’s a good kind of whinge though. His I’m gonna fall asleep if I even just see a picture of a boobie kind of whinge. We get upstairs, Keenan gets two boobs and is not venturing off to lala land during the feeding. Shit. No prob, I’ll just set him down in the crib on his side and see if he’ll go off to sleep. Five minutes of crying later I go in and bring him out to play for a little while. “A little while” turns into a few hours but then I finally get him off to sleep at around noon. 20 minutes later someone’s pulling on doorknob and ringing the doorbell. Back home this would freak the shit out of me but it’s commomplace here for the delivery guy or gas guy to open the door if it’s unlocked and call your name into your apartment. I wasn’t too impressed the first time it happened, stopped keeping my purse in the hallway and never walk around in my underpants and bra in the daytime unless it’s 32 degrees Celcius or higher. And now I always keep the door locked too. Then Keenan starts to cry. Oh boy. If it’s that guy trying to sell me first aid kits again I’m gonna give reason to use one. Wasn’t him. It was Sean. “I didn’t have any lunch money so I rode home”. Great ok, well you just woke up Keenan after I tried all morning to get him down for his morning nap. He apologizes, makes lunch, hangs out with us for a few minutes and then has to get going again. I’m in the middle of eating my lunch, Sean walks out the door and Keenan starts crying. He’s been doing that lately when we leave a room and he can’t see us. So, I pick him up and take him into the hallway for a bye-bye hug, kiss and a bit of waving. That seems to do the job now he wants my lunch. He eats a bit of it and I get up to make him some too. More crying. I pick him up and take him in the kitchen with me. Lunch is pretty easy to make with one hand. Take rice from rice cooker and put in bowl. Open package of sesame seeds a pour some on rice. Set package down but somehow manage to drop it and when trying to prevent package from falling on the floor I dump the contents all over the kitchen floor. Likely millions of seeds are all over the floor, my socks and in the pockets of my hoodie. This was definitely an “aw few fuck sakes” moment. Fuckity fuck, ok Keenan you need to play in your crib for a few minutes while I get this cleaned up. “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” Geez you’d think you were getting a diaper change or something.

Originally uploaded by kuckibaboo.

I’m tracking seeds everywhere but manage to get them swept up. Finish making Keenan’s lunch. Feed him and try to get him to bed. He’s dead tired. I try another 5 minutes of crying in the crib. Nope. I bring him out to play. He pulls the tea pot off a shelf he couldn’t reach yesterday, gets into the garbage, pulls on the heater cord, nearly pulls a kitchen chair over onto himself, falls on his face while crawling because he’s so tired, smacks his nose, more crying, reaches for a plant he’s not yet been interested in, only wants to play with the computer mouse, no luck there baby, more crying, pulls on heater cord a million more times. In the middle of all this I did actually have to change his diaper and he screamed so loud I thought my eardrums would pop.

When Keenan gets tired but won’t sleep he looses all interest in his toys. It’s like he forgets how to play with them and just goes trawling for trouble. Then he gets wound up and needs to be brought back down to earth. So I brought him over to his toy area, put everything in the toy bin and then took one thing out at a time and we played with each thing until it was boring. Plus we ate stray sesame seeds off the floor! Yummy! After an hour of plain ole quiet fun the boy starting yawning every now and then. So of to his room we went and he finally went down for his morning nap at 3:30 pm. If I could I’d give myself a raise. Maybe I’ll shave my legs twice this week.

Shit, it’s 4:46 and he’s crying. Here we go again.