Monday was an interesting day for first time remarks from our son

Monday morning...

"Dad, you're a f**cking idiot"

Monday evening...

"Go ahead, make my day"

...and then Monday seemed to spill into Tuesday...

Keenan still wakes up very early. On the odd occasion he'll harmlessly putz around in his room before he comes and shatters our cozy dream state. This was the scenario on Tuesday morning. Or so we thought. I usually wake up as soon as I hear his feet hit the floor and I keep an ear open for any signs of trouble. On this day everything seemed to be going well until Keenan dragged an unrecognizable empty box over to my side of the bed and proceeded to wipe down my nightstand with a bum wipe. "What a good boy to be cleaning at 6 am!". Then I looked into the box, it wasn't empty after all but filled with about 100 baby wipes that had been individually removed from the dispenser. The box was wet on the bottom from all the moisture and it smelled remotely of that alcohol based hand sanitizer. We got up to investigate the damage and tripped over his full laundry basket which he had dragged into our doorway. We walked into his room to discover he had pretty much sanitized all the surfaces of his room with the hand sanitizer which usually resides on the window sill, well out of his reach. He liberated it from its former location by emptying his 3 toy bins all over the floor, dragging them over to the window and stacking them to give him just the right height to get himself into trouble. It looked like a bomb went off in the place. Then we looked over at the dresser with its open and suspiciously empty drawers. What the? Where's all his clothes? That's right, you guessed it. Crammed into his dirty laundry basket in our bedroom doorway. Those who know me, know I love to work hard but I hate to do the same thing twice on account of someone else's actions. I wept at the sight of those empty drawers (remember back to Monday when I said all our clean laundry had been locked in our bedroom as I had just finished all the laundry on Sunday night, well I put it all away on Monday night including Keenan's). Wahhhhhhh! As I wept I refolded and tucked all the wipes back into their bin and Sean refolded and put away the laundry. Keenan ran about like a screaming banshee. When Sean was almost done folding he commented that for some reason he couldn't get all the clothes back in the dresser. At that point I realized Keenan had emptied the box (the previously mentioned "unrecognizable box") from his closet that contained all this past winter clothes that didn't fit him and were to be donated. Now they were all mixed in with his spring clothes and I've got to sort through everything piece by piece again. Oh joy!