boobs vs. belly…The race for Greatness

Well here we are in the last month before Launch Day. The month when the Kid makes it’s best effort to get nice and fat! At my last doc visit the Kid gained about 500 grams but I didn’t gain anything so it’s all going to the baby. Here’s hoping it’s just getting longer and not growing a “gargantuan head”!

In other growing news…the other day I looked down at my chest and thought to myself, “hmmm, my boobs aren’t looking that big anymore”. Silly girl. They’re still big. It’s just the bigger belly slowly and consistently expanding below them that is causing the deception! Sean swears he can see a difference almost everyday. He did a belly circumference measurement just once, much to my dismay. I can feel my belly button stretching big enough to house a bar of soap so I don’t really need a figure in centimeters to back that up!

And to Jose…I know, I know…more photos of your baby sister all huge and pregnant are on the way soon!

Snow, sleeplessness, stomachache, Tetris, grapefruit juice, flames and nesting

Well it’s currently 5:05 am, -0.5 C, snowing like a mother scratcher and I’m wide awake. I’ve been up for a while. Possibly 2 hours. I try not to check. It just makes it worse. Sean and I have fairly offset sleeping schedules which, we’re thinking will come in handy once the Kid is born. I go to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 pm (the later is a real stretch for me right now) and I get up at around 6 am. Sean comes to bed sometime between 1:30 and 2:30 am and gets up no earlier than 8:15 am. Lately it seems that I don’t really actually need the sleep I get between 3 and 6 am. Which is a reversal from my pre-pregnancy life. Those used to be my most important sleeping hours. Also, if Sean engages me in any sort of conversation beyond “pee?” than I can’t get back to sleep after he comes to bed no matter what time it is.

Today I woke up when Sean came to bed and realized I had a stomachache. We went out for ramen last night since we thought spring was on it’s way. We wanted to treat ourselves to another of Misuzu’s famous Kodowari Miso ramen soup while the weather is still cold enough that you need warming up by the time you walk to the restaurant. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm all about the liquids these days but the noodles are soooo good at this place so I ate more than I could and ended up a little over stuffed a little too close to bed time. Well the stomachache went away after a few rounds of Tetris on the Game Boy (for those of you that have never been to our place you should know that our Game Boy takes up permanent residence in our washroom). Now I’m into the grapefruit juice.

Hmmm, there’s lot’s of fire trucks heading this way that are cutting their sirens somewhere’s near here. Last time that happened we had a fire in the basement of our building…I’m gonna go check it out…

…well there’s a fire on the next block down. I went up on the 8th floor and from what I can see it’s the porn video shop. There’s always apartments connected to those sorts of establishments so it’s not as good as it sounds. It’s 6:06 am. What an eventful hour. I’m gonna crawl back into bed with Sean for a while.

It’s now 11:11 am, still snowing and -1.5 C. The fire is out and I’m pooped. It turns out the fire was in the building next to the porn shop. It's totally gutted. I watched the firemen’s flashlights swirling around inside the darkened apartments once they got the flames out. There was lots of yelling and they were popping out windows to let the smoke out and fresh air in. I hope nobody was hurt. This is a pretty old neighborhood and if anyone was living in the building they likely would have been older folks.

Despite my tiredness I am being driven to nest. So nest I must.

It’s all about the liquids

Nothing is wasted on me more than the tabehodai (all-you-can-eat restaurant) at this point. For the last couple of weeks the baby has been snuggled with it’s head rammed tightly under my ribs to the right of my sternum. This makes me feel like I have a ball joint on the top of my belly and leaves about a tablespoons worth of room for my stomach. If I eat two halves of a sandwich right now I need Sean to help me get up (our table is J-style so we eat dinner sitting on the floor). So I’ve found myself thinking more about soups and every manner of beverage. Fruit and yoghurt shakes are the big deal for me right now. This is definitely the land of yummy soups so there’s lots of places to eat good ramen or udon and I’m always up for attempting a new soup recipe at home. The down side to all of this is that I can’t be too far away from a bathroom for longer than an hour. Whenever we go out I have to stop and think about our route and destination and map out the toilets along the way. This is always complicated by the “nasty washroom stink syndrome” that plagues this country. There’s something about the smell of many Japanese toilets that can turn your focus away from your daily constitutional faster than you can say “hai”. Heaven forbid you should find yourself in a stinky washroom that happens to house only “squatty toilets” cause then you have to get CLOSER to the stink to get your business over with. Click here for a squatty tutorial. Alright this has turned into a poop story, time to cut it short.

“The cute baby at the top of the mountain” Our first Prenatal class

Mount Yotei aka Ezo Fuji
Originally uploaded by kuckibaboo.

We attended our first Prenatal class on March 8th. It was held at our hospital and Sean, Jess and myself were both excited and a wee bit nervous. We got there right on time which means we were late by Japanese standards. Chairs were pulled out for us and we got settled amongst the other couples. Then the nurse made an apology on our behalf to the rest of the group because the foreigners needed to be whispering in the back for the sake of translation. How kind.

Our doctor conducted a lecture for about the first hour on what to expect with the onset of labor, what the hospital’s procedures and policies are for certain situations (fetal stress, induction etc) and the differences between parenting styles for mothers and fathers. Most of the information was pretty basic but it was really nice to see that so much emphasis was being put on the importance of the father as an active member in the delivery, care and raising of the child. We’ve heard from many folks that have had children here that the dad is basically a non-participant in any aspect of the pregnancy and delivery. Now would probably be a good time to mention that I don’t have the option for a pain free delivery…no drugs…whatsoever. It’s standard for Tokachi (our region) and most of the rest of Japan unless you are in a big city like Tokyo or Kyoto where you have access to International hospitals. A lot of emphasis is put on relaxation and breathing techniques to get the laboring mom through the delivery. So all the while during the lecture we’re being reminded about the importance of staying focused on the breathing and getting through the pain because we’ll get to meet our cute baby that is waiting at the top of the mountain for us! The “cuteness culture” even prevails in the labor and delivery room! It’s hard to decide if the no drug policy is progressive or not. I think in many cases in the west drugs are given too readily but conversely I think there are likely many cases here when drugs should be given and are not. Let’s just hope I’m not proof of the later. Further on the topic of progression we found out that our hospital is the best maternity hospital on Hokkaido. When compared to other hospitals here or down south it appears to be light years ahead of the rest of Japan in the progressive thinking department. We couldn’t be happier to be living 2.5 blocks away from this place!

For the last half of the class we watched a very informative video. They actually showed a woman going thru the labor and birth process from the onset of labor at home right thru to the delivery of the baby. The editing was totally crappy but this video was made by our hospital and showed the actual procedures, rooms and staff that we would be dealing with which was greatly comforting. I’m all about eliminating the “unknowns” and this video struck a great deal of them off my list. Except for the compulsory enema, I still don’t know what that is like but I will soon enough!

So the 3 of us left feeling pretty good about climbing the mountain. Here’s hoping it’s more like Fuji than Everest!

March doc appointments

Mar 7
-baby weight: approx. 2300 grams (5 lbs.)
-heard baby’s heart beat
-saw 4 chambers of the baby’s heart via ultrasound
-head is down
-this kid is really packing on the weight
-all is well

My burning question this week was “What is your hospital’s policy on episiotomy procedure?”. This is one of the things I’m least looking forward to. I have a higher tolerance for pain than I do for seeing my own blood or anything to do with needles being stuck into me. I’m just not sure how I’ll handle the 3 together should the time come. So my doc said they have a less than 10% episiotomy rate (Canada has a crazy range of 31% in Quebec to 15% in Manitoba) so at this point I’m happier to be having the Kid here as opposed to Montreal! He credits his skilled midwives with the low rate and insists an episiotomy is only performed if a tear is inevitable.

Mar 24
-baby weight: approx. 2850 grams (6.27 lbs)
-head is up again

I didn’t have such a fun appointment today. The waiting room was sooo hot and it appeared that other mother’s who arrived after me were allowed to go ahead of me. The average Japanese woman is in with the doc for a regular visit for less than 5 minutes and I take about 15 minutes. So I figured they were clearing up the backlog before I slowed things down. Or it could just be paranoia. This whole thing could be cleared up if they went to an appointment system instead of a first come first served system. I showed up at 9 am and I was already 9th in line for my doc. Yucky.

So the doc is concerned about the breach presentation of our baby. I’m not. Not at this point anyways. I’ve got just a bit under 6 weeks to go and there’s still plenty of time and room for intra-uterine acrobatics. Jose had told me that Nick was two weeks late and didn’t go heads down until she was overdue. I relayed this to the doc and he felt a bit better until of course he asked how much Nick weighed and I said “nearly 10 pounds”. I didn’t bother telling him Sean was nearly the same size and degree of lateness! Geez, you’d think he was giving birth to this Kid! Anyways, the baby will come out when it’s ready and I’m not gonna get too hung up on weight approximations. If the Kid keeps growing at this rate it will be a 9 pounder and that’s gonna be a reality we face on Launch day.

I also found out that Sean isn’t allowed to cut the babies cord. He’s not too disappointed but I think he really wanted to be a physical part of that aspect of the delivery.

Then I found out we have another class we have to take that wasn’t on the official “class form”. So we have to meet with the delivery nurse and midwife for any last minute questions and for another tour of the hospital and the labor/delivery room. The timing is crappy as Jess will be in Kyoto so we’ll have to ask someone else to come along with us. I’m not too cool on the splitting up of the team but at least the hospital is making sure we are as prepared as possible.

I could now go on about my shitty experience at the gas station following my doc appointment but I won’t. Time to make some coffee and get outside and enjoy this sunny day!

Meet Jessyca!

Originally uploaded by kuckibaboo.

Jess is a good friend of ours and is going to be helping us out with the delivery of the Kid. Sean, Jess and I have gone to Prenatal classes together and between the 3 of us we're slowly unraveling the mysteries of having a child in Japan! Jess is very proficient in the Japanese language so she's also acting as our translator which has turned out to be very helpful and heaps of fun at the same time. There are even talks of team t-shirts with matching gloves for "Launch Day"! The 3 of us get along like a house on fire and I'm sure we've been labeled the "giggling foreigners" by the staff at the hospital. We were late (meaning right on time) for our classes and then we would have hushed giggling fits over some of the translations of the process and procedure of child birth in this country. At least we didn't fall asleep during the meditation portion of the class like half of the other moms!

We're so grateful to have Jess by our side during this part of our life. It's very comforting to have someone we care about so much as our cheering section, emotional backup and language discombobulator! Thanks Jess, you're the bestest!

Ack! Stretch Marks!

I guess I’ve been living in a fantasy dream world when it comes to the topic of stretch marks. I figured that since I’m a bigger woman I would gracefully side step them altogether. Well, as of yesterday that theory has been flung out of our 4th floor apartment window!

It all started on Tuesday. I woke up feeling pretty normal but after I got out of bed the Kid who has been living with it’s head snuggled under my ribs for the longest while decided it was time for a change. Well into the afternoon I could feel the baby put it’s head into my pelvis then apparently unhappy with the position it would elbow, shoulder and knee it’s way back out. I felt like a parking lot at a senior’s center on Bingo night. In…not quite right…out…in…nope just a little more to the left…out…in…maybe I should face the other way…half turn…out. That was the most stretched I’ve felt so far and I now have 3 red marks on either side of my belly button to prove it.

My waist now looks sort of like this \ \ \ * / / /

So I discover these things in the shower yesterday. I get out and called Sean over right away and he handled it way better than I did. He sure knows when to say the right thing these days! So last night before bed he read to me from our book of 1000 Pregnancy Questions which claims that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the marks (it’s so nice to be absolved of that one!) and then I was treated to a nice belly rub with some Body Shop Hemp Lotion. Maybe they aren’t such a bad thing after all!

Boobs, can they really get that big?

So last week I put in my nursing bra order with my sister Jose in Ottawa. They’re on they’re way here via Airmail and I’m secretly hoping the package gets opened in Japanese customs. The cup size alone would inspire fantasies amongst the men and envy amongst the women in that building for years to come!

There’s no chance in hell I could find a nursing bra here that would fit me. At least not on Hokkaido anyways. I checked in Sapporo and the biggest were 20 cm too short around the body. The cups went up to a small looking DD and were padded of all friggin’ things! So when I went to Ottawa this past fall I was fitted and taught the secrets to proper bra measurement so I could guesstimate my post delivery size at about 7 months. By my calculations I’ll be a 40 DDD within the first two weeks after delivering the baby. It seems huge to me but I’m almost a full 40 DD at this point. When I was figuring out my size I was running back and forth between the boob measuring instructions written out by the maternity shop, the back up instructions I Googled on the computer and the mirror. I used to be a 38 C now I’ll be able to use my bra’s to launch canon balls across the Pacific! Sean is of course excited beyond words!

What the locals are saying and doing

Boy or girl? Well, every Japanese woman save 1 that I have asked is convinced we’re having a boy. The reason we’re having a boy is because the baby is high up and straight out or so I’m told. Usually the answer is preceded by the rubbing of my belly, a long view of my profile and all sorts of questions. Do you crave fruit or meat? What was the weather when you conceived? Are you tired? You’re not still driving your car are you? The belly rubbing is by far the most bizarre. This is a culture where all manner of salutations, thanks and respect are paid with varying degrees of bowing. Well, all the rules go out the window between women folk when one or more in the group are pregnant. This weirded me out at first. I had never been touched by a Japanese person until I was doing an English lesson with a dynamic group of ladies in Memuro. It was the first time most of us met. I did my usual self-introduction and for the heck of it I thru in the fact that I was 3 months pregnant. Man, talk about a sweet ice-breaker! These gals were so excited they were vibrating in their seats! By the end of the 90 minute session everyone in that room had either touched or rubbed my totally un-pregnant looking tummy. Now that I’m full on and very visibly pregnant there’s no stopping them! The best is the girls in my grade 1 and 2 classes. They stand under my tummy and wrap their arms around from the bottom up so all I see are these little waving hands in front of my face!

So far this is a phenomenon shared only amongst women. I’ve had the standard questions from the men. One of my VP’s asked me if the baby was moving a lot and I told him “Yup, it feels just like a big fish in there!” I’m not sure anyone had ever been that honest with him! On my last day of classes at his school he gave me a charm for a fast and easy birth from the local Shinto Shrine. It was a lovely gesture and had a definite touch affect on me. The guys are just much more sly about it I guess!

Where in the heck?

It's been a busy month and I've had a nasty cold coming on 3 weeks now. I'm finally starting to gain on the cold and feel motivated to do more than sleep. Plus, I'm finishing up at work today then I've got another busy weekend and then next week I'll be free until launch day! So more from me soon. I've got blogs posts floating around in my head with titles like...

"What the locals are saying"
"Boobs, can they really get that big?"
"First Prenatal class"

Another growth spurt on the way?

The kid seems to be growing in fits and starts and I think it’s ramping up for another growth spurt. Yesterday I was starving all day, cold and thirsty. Our gas heater has been acting up and I had a few words with it on more than one occasion. I finally gave up on it and told it off…“I hope you know I think you’re f%@kin’ useless!” I’m sure it’ll be working much better today. I drank so much water, tea and juice that I couldn’t be away from the toilet for more than 45 minutes. I had breakfast, 2nd breakfast, lunch, 2nd lunch, afternoon tea and dinner. With plenty of grazing in between of course! Should be an interesting and somewhat tiring week.

Set to ride in style

Stroller
Originally uploaded by kuckibaboo.

We bought our stroller a couple of weeks ago! You may be interested to know that in Japan it’s called a “baby car”. Just like every other car in this country it has as many names as a pedigree Shiba Inu. This particular model is the “Combi, A-Style, Stylish Sports” and it has a sticker on the side that proclaims it to be “As gentle as a mother’s arms”! Shopping for a stroller is a task not for those who easily succumb to option paralysis. Buying a stroller in Japan narrowed our choices quite nicely which, was a bit of a mercy. First on the list of “must haves” Sean had to be able push the stroller while standing completely upright. Sounds crazy but we tried out a few that had Sean bending at the waist to reach! Then we both agreed that it had to be sturdy and that I had to be able to open and close it using only one hand. Due to the general lack of space to store anything here many strollers fold into shapes and sizes that are really quite remarkable. Sadly this requires many folding components and more moving parts than you would believe which makes for a pretty rickety feel. Next it needed to have a push bar that could flip from side to side (a wise recommendation from our dear friend Jess!) and a sun hood that would completely cover the Kid from the darn harsh northern Japan UV. Price was also a concern. There are more strollers in the $400 to $550 price range than there are in the $200 to $300 range. The stroller we bought was originally $200 and we picked it up on sale for a mere $150!

We are currently shopping for the car seat. Then the bassinette and all the big stuff will be out of the way! Yippee!!

The 3rd trimester is officially here!

Not quite the final countdown but we’re getting close to it. The ‘ol belly is noticeably bigger each week and we’re up to visiting the doctor every 2 weeks now. Here’s the goods on the last 3 doc appointments leading up to the beginning of the 3rd trimester…

Dec 20
-baby weight: approx. 470 grams (a wee bit over a pound)
-mom’s weight: as if!
-lots of movement
-all is well

Jan 21
-baby weight: approx. 1300 grams (that’s almost 3 pounds and 2.75 times bigger since the last visit a month ago!)
-I’ve been really tired this month and the growth spurt the Kid went thru definitely has a lot to do with that
-nurses initially thought I had high blood pressure but they spooked me when they didn’t give me advance warning that I had to get a blood test and it sent my BP through the ceiling. The head nurse talked me down though. She wears such pretty pink lipstick. It’s nearly hypnotic. Maybe I can get Sean to wear the same color for the delivery!
-all is well

Feb 4
-baby weight: approx. 1340 grams
-blood test results from previous visit good eg: HIV was negative (apparently they don’t have to ask for your permission for that one in this country!)
-got to hear the babies heart beat for the first time. COOL!
-legs are still about 2 weeks of growth ahead of the body! Hopefully at this rate our child will not end up with a 26 inch inseam like me!
-all is well
-signed up for our prenatal classes on Mar 8. YIKES!

Would it be possible to keep my cervix out of this?

Around the end of November I started to feel the first signs of movement. At first I didn’t really know what I was feeling and was convinced it was gas. By mid December the movement had developed into full on kicking, spinning and what felt like jumping jacks. There is really nothing more life affirming than feeling a baby moving around inside your own body. Up until that stage the doctor told us there was a growing embryo in there and we had seen the “Bean” in ultrasounds. But once it starts moving the reality of being pregnant really starts to kick in as it were. Sean felt the baby moving for the first time on December 17 and some time after that “the Bean” graduated into “the Baby” or “the Kid”. It would appear movement allows for a more human reference!

For the first time in my life I experienced being kicked in the cervix from the inside (not that I’ve ever been kicked in the cervix from the outside!). Took my breath away it did. At the time the kid weighed in at a little under a pound! Good grief what’s gonna happen when “the Kid” gets some more weight on it’s side!

Belly button spotted where one hasn’t been seen in at least 2 decades

I can see the “button” in my belly! I haven’t seen it in years. It’s so friggin’ deep and well honestly it has been nicely tucked between a pair of quabbles for quite some time. Wish I could celebrate with a nice glass of wine!

Switching sides

So I'm now up to peeing twice a night. You'd think with all these years of evolution behind us the female body would have figured out how to deal with the decreasing space that is alotted to the bladder in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. The dexterity of the human thumb has adapted to the Game Boy in less than 20 years after all. Personally I view this as just training for the reality that I'll be getting up several times and at all hours of the night for feedings in less than four months.

The layout of our bedroom requires that the foot and one side of the bed be up against the wall. The night table is wedged between the head of our bed and the wall. My preferred side of the bed has been against the wall since it's so cosy and the glare from the heater doesn't keep me up all night. That side of the bed is also the furthest from the door and requires that I climb over a sleeping Sean in the middle of the night to do my business. The night before last was my first two pee night and by the time I had to get up for the second pee I was not too genki and had a bit of trouble getting me arse to the toilet in time. So last night Sean and I switched sides. It is something that was in my future anyways as the wee nipper is going to have to sleep on the "no wall" side of the bed and I'm planning on being the food source. It was a little sad and a little exciting but most of all it was just as cosy and Sean positioned the heater so that I didn't feel like I was staring at the rising sun through my eye lids.

For your enjoyment and astonishment here are the measurements of our bedroom...

Bedroom 2.5 m x 2 m
Bed 140 cm x 2 m
Table 60 cm x 30 cm
Door allowance 85 cm x 85 cm (door opens INTO the room, friggin' tres stupido)
Remainder 168 cm x 87 cm (for heater, to get dressed and baby bed)

Not such a roomy room ne? But it's still cosy!

A bit of Mommy & Daddy time before Mommy and Daddy time hits

Never ending goodness!
Originally uploaded by kuckibaboo.

Sean and I just finished our last vacation as "a couple sans children". We had a great time and it was really wonderful to just be together. We had wanted to leave Japan and go somewhere hot for Christmas again but I didn't feel too good about leaving the comforts of home and hospital at the midpoint of our pregnancy. So I finally convinced Sean into a 5 night vacation in Sapporo and all the snowboarding he could do all season long. Snowboarding is out for me this year as I'm a bit too far along. So I hang out in the lodge, go for walks and write blog posts!

Sapporo was wonderful. It snowed everyday and it was truly magical at times. We lounged in Starbuck's for at least an hour every morning with such beverages in hand as Gingerbread latte, Creme Brulee latte and Valencia Orange mocha. We spent our days walking thru the snow, shopping, eating lunch along the way, visiting bakeries and marvelling at the crowds. Christmas is not celebrated here like it is in the west. Part of the oddness of Christmas here is that people eat fried chicken and a fancy cake for dinner. The line-ups at the bakeries were simply insane. This visit to Sapporo was more human intensive than our visit Tokyo and Kyoto this summer. We went out for dinner every night (Indian, Mexican, Asian fusion, Thai and 1 night of fast food) and then usually crashed into bed by 7:30 or 8 to watch ridiculous Japanese programs or whatever foreign film was being offered up.

We returned to Obihiro and lounged around our pad for a couple of days and Sean got a few days of snowboarding in at Nukabira as well. Sean hooked up our newly purchased DVD player and we spent our evenings watching rented DVD's. We learned that washing your car is "the" thing to do on New Year's Eve in Japan. There were line ups around the block for most car wash joints. We spent the wee hours of New Year's Day at the Obihiro Shinto Shrine where we said a short prayer on the top step of the Shrine. Then we both literally rang in the New Year on the big bronze bell on the grounds at the Buddhist Temple near our apartment. We spent the evening of our last day in great conversation with our friend Keiko who had made an amazing meal.

If you're pregnant or thinking about having kids I strongly suggest you find the time and money to do this kind of thing with your partner. Just get away and enjoy doing things with your honey. You won't regret it.

Made for each other by way of the granola bar

Every now and then a series of events occurs in your marriage that further proves you and your spouse are meant to be together. One day in mid November I was busy getting ready for a couple of late morning classes. I was feeling a little snacky and remembered there were some of those yummy chewy granola bars in the cupboard that Jose had sent us. I opened one, ate half of it, set it down and then immediately forgot where I put it. I considered the fact that I may have finished it, regardless I was still a bit peckish so I started in on the other one. Again I opened the wrapper, ate half, put it down and forgot about it. I finished packing up and left for class.

I didn't think about this again until Nov 26, the day of our TIEC Thanksgiving dinner. There were about 10 of us preparing food in the kitchen and we were discussing the sad fact that my memory was shrinking by at least 50% every week that my pregnancy was advancing. I told everyone about the granola bar incident and that I was sure I didn't finish either bar but had never found them. Then Sean pipes up...it turns out he had come home before me the day I "lost" the bars. He found one half eaten granola bar and ate it without thinking about it. Then some time later he found the other one. He actually thought that it was the first one and that he had forgotten to eat it. So he ate the second one and didn't think anything of it. What a pair! Everyone in the kitchen had a good laugh at our expense and Sean and I weren't really that surprised with the way things turned out. I can see myself leaving the kid behind somewhere and Sean coming along and thinking "here's a cute kid, I think I'll take you home with me!".

Recommended Reading: “Bear With Me”

By: Diane Flacks
Available on amazon.ca
ISBN 0-7710-4764-9, $24.99 CDN

My sister Jose sent me this book from Ottawa. It arrived while Sean’s folks were here and Pat spent time reading parts of it, laughing, nearly crying and all the while reminiscing about her experiences of being pregnant. I found out my sister did the same thing in the bookstore before she bought it and then she took it home and read the whole thing before she sent it to me. This is by far the most frankly written and honest book I have read in quite some time. The author writes of her experiences while trying to conceive, being pregnant and going thru childbirth from a perspective few woman have ever given thought to let alone read about. She is unafraid to call the shitty stuff “shitty” and manages to keep her sense of humor through all the yucky parts. She calls her breasts “boobs” and her labia “pussy lips”. The first 3 chapters are titled…Getting Knocked Up, The First Weeks-I’m Backing Out and The First Trimester-Losing Control. One of the best parts of the book describes how the phrase “fer fuck’s sake” tacked itself on the end of every request the author made of her partner. “Do you think you could close the fridge door, fer fuck’s sake?!” Now that’s something I can relate to! This is the only pregnancy book I have read from cover to cover and although it’s not loaded with technical info this book best describes the emotional roller coaster ride aspect of being pregnant.

The gathering of information

There are sooo many friggin’ books written on preconception, getting pregnant, what to do while you’re pregnant, what not to do while you’re pregnant etc, etc. It’s a little daunting trying to figure out which ones to spend your hard earned dollars on. Not having access to a single page of printed material in English of the aforementioned topics I had to rely on reader reviews on the net and recommendations from friends and family. I have now acquired several books but my favorites are few. Not many pregnancy-related books are meant to be read from cover to cover as they are more reference related and contain unending miles of dry text strung together. That being said there are a few books that I simply could not have done without reading. Perhaps I’ll sporadically list my top 5 fav’s but not in any particular order of course!

Why "Bigger in Japan"?

Well, my husband and I live in Obihiro, a small city on the northern island of Hokkaido in Japan. The population is about 175 000 and there really aren't very many "foreign" folks here. I have light colored hair, I'm a bit under 5'8" tall, and I am by no means a "small" or even "medium" built woman. My favorite eyeglasses are red (2nd fav are bright blue) and from what I understand I laugh often and the sound can carry for a great distance. So needless to say I'm a solidly built Canadian gal that generally sticks out in a crowd of local folks in these parts. Being pregnant and growing bigger (hence "Bigger in Japan") around the 'ol mid section is going to make me all the more noticeable! I can't wait really and plan to ham it up as much as possible!

Is that stink coming from MY pits?

There's lots of really wonderful emotions and physical changes that come along with being pregnant. There's also some really gross things you "turn into" pretty much over night. I turned into stink. One morning around week 6 or 7 I was busy cleaning up about the apartment and I noticed there was a nasty smell following me around. It could be likened to the teen stink that fills the locker room of let's say a group of junior high aged boys that have just come off the ice after a high energy hockey practice (but you never stank Tony!). Sean rarely gets BO, he has freakishly only gone through 2 sticks of antiperspirant in the 7 or so years we've lived together. And yes, I keep track of his pit stick use because I do indeed find it freakish. To my horror the stink was coming from the very pits under my arms. I showered later in the day and gave the 'ol underarms a good scrub with the wash cloth. That oughta do 'er. Afterwards, I was drying my pits and when I rubbed the towel back and forth I could smell the stink again. It didn't wash off! It was like I had scratch and sniff stink pits. Soon enough Sean started to make comments and he quickly learned that the topic was NOT open for discussion or further comment. "You wouldn't want to make me cry about this would you?". I continued to try to deal with it but nothing I tried would make it stop. My antiperspirant was "absorbed" by my skin and in minutes it was like I had never put any on. I tried Sean's, strong enough for a man so it must be strong enough for a pregnant woman. Apparently not. I decided no matter what I wouldn't cry about this and in the end I don't think I did but then again I can't remember. The stink just packed up and left on September 22 which was a mercy as it was the day before I was packed and leaving for a 24 hour showerless flight to Ottawa. I've been stinkless about 5 weeks now and Sean and I couldn't be happier!

Repainting the kitchen

So my first brainless event occured sometime around week 6. Sean was home and sitting in the kitchen at the computer. I ventured into the kitchen with a hankering for some Meiji Mixed Berry yoghurt beverage. This stuff is incredibley tasty and a little high in calories but I can justify drinking a cup or two for the sake of my increased need for calcium. It's also purple and comes in 1 litre cartons. I had just bought a brand new carton the day before so I was really looking forward to it being very fresh and fruity tasting. So I take the carton out of the fridge open it right up and THEN I shake it. Yup, it went everywhere. All over the counter, walls, garbage can, the wall behind the garbage can, floor and fridge. I was so pissed off I didn't even stop to survey the milky, purple damage I just slammed the friggin' carton down on the counter and stormed off to our bedroom in a flurry of cuss words, waving arms and stomping feet. I jumped into bed, pulled the covers over my head, started crying and wailing questions into the duvet.

"What's wrong with me?", "How can I be such a stupid idiot?", "What was I thinking?", "I WASN'T thinking because I am a STUPID IDIOT!".

Then there's Sean. He was just putzing away at the computer and all of a sudden the kitchen is purple, I'm cursing, screaming and stomping and then under the covers. Needless to say, he was out of his seat pretty damn quick. He cleaned up and then he crawled into bed to console the inconsolable.

We can kind of laugh at it now but I think we were both a little freaked out by my "fit". As it turns out I've had a few crying fits since and it's just torture. For both of us. "Honey, I don't know why I'm crying!" sort of stuff. It's so unpredictable and uncontrollable I'm sure Sean is convinced I'm a ticking time bomb. For Sean's sake and mine I hope I'm out of that phase now.

...and then the hormones started attacking my brain cells

Hormones. The big wig scientists still aren't sure how or why the capacity and normal functions of the female brain start their perpetual downward spiral once sperm meets egg. One thing I know for sure is that the decline is swift and unrelenting. I can't remember things I did last week, yesterday and sometimes by the end of the day I can't remember what I had for breakfast. This can be alarming but my sister Jose helped me come to the realization that if I just calm down and relax through it I likely won't remember my pre-pregnancy grey matter's performance by the time the baby is born!

My first prenatal doctor's appointment

The following is cut from an email I sent to my sister and Sean's parents on September 1. I had to go to this first appointment alone as Sean couldn't get out of work that day. We were both a little disappointed but it turned out to have been for the better...

Hey there folks,

I had my first appointment at the hospital yesterday. All the doctors work out of hospitals here so don't go panicking! I met a really nice couple in the waiting room that live on the other side of the city near the "big factory" maternity hospital and they said the one we have chosen is very well known and respected. They just had their 3rd child there and were very pleased with everything. Anyways, my appointment went really well. I had an ultrasound and even got a photo printout of the wee nipper! Pretty tiny but all is well so far! So technically I'm 5 weeks, 1 day and 7 hours (the hours are crazy I know) into this journey. In two or weeks I'll go back once the spine has formed (isn't that nuts...a spine grows in 2 weeks, I can't even grow a bad haircut out in that time!) and they'll measure the spine length to determine the due date. Some sort of new fangled technology. Don't know if Asian spines grow at the same rate as Western spines so I've added that to my list of questions.

Here's something funny for you...my doctor has a pretty good command of English but he calls breasts "mama's". I figure that's short for "mammaries". So here's the question he asked me yesterday..."Do you have any descention of the mama's?" I was so surprised I actually replied with "what?!!" then "uhhhhh, yes" and then I nearly pissed my pants trying not to laugh. "Descention of the mama's" sounds like some sort of Harley Davidson biker chicks turn feminist B grade mockumentary!

...so translated into English and then Nancy-speak "Do you have any descention of the mama's?" means "Are your boobs getting bigger?". In hindsight I realized that if Sean would have been there with me to get the hiliarity of that question I would have totally lost my composure. So I count his absense for that appointment as a bit of a blessing as I'm sure I would have lost all credibility with my doctor if I melted into a giggling pool of hormones.